What It’s Like Living With Borderline Disorder and PTSD

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I first started experiencing BPD symptoms at 12. I was vulnerable to putting myself in dangerous situations and acting recklessly. Then, at the tender age of 12, I experienced my first rape. I know it wasn’t my fault and the blame lies in the man who stole my innocence. This is when suicidal ideation kicked in, a few unsuccessful attempts as a teenager. Suicidal ideation has stayed with me ever since. I could be having the best day, but that little voice tempting me with a way out will always be there. I’m not suicidal; I have no plans. But suicidal ideation is one of the few things that are stable within me.

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